A mailbox! My kingdom for a mailbox!
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
I have never had a really cool mailbox. In fact, I have barely had a mailbox at all.
When I lived at home we had a mailbox, but it wasn’t really mine.
Then I moved into an apartment, and I got my mail out of one of those keyed metal box line-up thingies. Booooruing.
We had real mailboxes both places we lived in South Carolina, but they were plain, ordinary black mailboxes. Individuality is frowned upon and discouraged in South Carolina. I just tried to do my time there peacefully so I could get out unscathed.
When we moved to Florida, it was to an apartment. Then the house, but we had to get our mail out of one of those community box things. Stupid post office. Sure, it saves them time, but what about my God-given right to have a flamingo or a mermaid or a superhero mailbox?
Once again I am moving. And I understand that once again I will have a community mail box.
My Lord, why have you deserted me?!?
Topics: I'm so silly | 4 Comments »
I love marble!
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
I love marbles, too. I used to play all the time. But that will have to wait for another post.
Marble makes everything look better. I think marble mantels look much better around fireplaces than stone does, unless you live in the country. And as I look on MarbleUnique.com, they are not nearly as expensive as I thought they would be.
They have some really nice dolphin statues too. I am a big fan of dolphins!
What really captured my imagination on the site are all the awesome marble fountains they have. I have always wanted a really cool fountain in my yard. I figure that I could throw outdoor parties and before too long drunken party guests would start throwing coins into the fountain.
Hey, free coins, right?
Topics: For Your Information | 3 Comments »
There is good change and bad change…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
Good change is me moving to Kentucky.
Bad change is my main blog being upgraded to the newest version of Wordpress.
Why do all the cosmetic dashboard changes have to happen on an upgrade? I liked my dashboard the way it was. I knew it inside and out. I knew where everything was. I was comfortable.
Everything is new and strange now. It frightens me.
Not all my plugins work.
I only have a limited number of brain cells. If I devote some of them to learning this new version, I am going to have to forget something else. Like the multiplication tables. Or state capitals.
Sigh…
Topics: Uncategorized, I'm so silly | 5 Comments »
Business traveling with all the comforts of home!
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
When I used to work for the blood bank, I traveled a lot. We had branches in Alabama and Georgia, and I would always be gone for a week at a time at the minimum. I bet, in the three years I worked at corporate, I spent at least four months total in Birmingham, Alabama.
No one should have to spend that much time in Birmingham, Alabama.
I spent some time in some icky places, too. They used to put me up at some extended-stay place that resembled a fraternity house more than anything else. I’d be out the door to go to the branch in the morning, and in the hall outside several of the doors would be empty beer twelvepacks for the housekeeping staff to throw away.
For someone of my stature, darn it, they should have looked into executive housing rentals at National Corporate Housing. Spacious suites, full kitchens, and just about everything you can think of that you might need, including spare light bulbs!
Oh, and a plunger. That’s important. Once or twice over the years I’ve had to make that awkward call down to the front desk.
Ahem.
Topics: For Your Information | No Comments »
Who is good at household hint stuff?
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
I have a desk. It is a big desk. It is a big honkin’ desk with two levels and drawers and cubby holes and all sorts of stuff. It’s L shaped.
I have pictures on it that I have attached with double-sided tape. Pictures, autographs, whatever I felt like decorating it with.
Apparently I am a 12 year old girl.
Anyway…now I want them off. It’s easy enough to get them off. But, of course, there is tape residue on the wood. Lots of it. Thick white residue.
How the hell do I get it off? It looks awful.
I know lighter fluid works on non-porous surfaces. But what do I use on wood?
Topics: I'm so silly | 7 Comments »
No one shares my vision…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
You know, it’s hard to find bankers, contractors, and mortgage lenders who support my dream of building a castle, complete with a moat and a drawbridge.
Wouldn’t that be the ultimate?
I don’t know what I’d keep in the moat. Down here in Florida, of course, the answer would be easy–alligators. But there are no alligators in Kentucky. I don’t know if there are any dangerous animals in Kentucky. I suppose I could fill it with snakes. Big, mean, nasty snakes.
That wouldn’t help me in the winter though. I suppose I could fill it with snowman warriors.
Wait…I am beginning to see why no one is taking me seriously…
Topics: For Your Information | 4 Comments »
I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 8, 2008
Okay. I didn’t really do that. I’m not opposed to shooting someone just to watch them die, I am just not sure that Reno is the proper venue for it.
I mean, what are the Reno hotels like? Are there good restaurants there? What kind of sightseeing opportunities are there? These are the things that need to be considered before going somewhere to whack someone out.
I like to relax after a contract killing. A fellow can get pretty wound up prior to an execution. You have to learn to deal with that and take steps to take the edge off.
After all, I am human, do I not bleed?
Well, not like the guy in Reno did…
Topics: For Your Information | No Comments »
On the road again…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 7, 2008
Some of you may know that I will be leaving Florida soon. I will be moving somewhere where the weather is not as warm as often. In fact, they get a little snow from time to time. Several of you, those that I have mocked over the years, will certainly be enjoying that fact come winter time.
I will be moving to the state where the first cheeseburger was served.
It’s the state where the song “Happy Birthday” was written.
Chevrolet Corvettes are manufactured there.
The state wild animal is the grey squirrel (Really? Is that the best they could do?).
The state has more miles of running water than any other state except Alaska (not sure I believe this).
The state is among the top 20 producers of corn, soybeans, winter wheat, hay, barley and sorghum.
What the hell is sorghum?
Topics: Traveling Fab | 23 Comments »
Gotta have heat and air…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 7, 2008
That’s what separates our homes from the homes of animals, after all; the ability to heat and cool our environment.
Well, that and hard wood flooring.
I bet a lot of my blogging peeps use Lowry Electric when they are in need of air conditioners or heat pumps. They can also do any kind of electrical work that is needed. I need an electrician. I wish they operated in Florida. I have a light out that I can’t figure out how to fix, and I have a switch that doesn’t seem to control anything as near as I can determine. Did you ever run across one of those? I’m always afraid that I’m shutting something on and off for someone over in Germany or something.
Wow…I can’t find anything that they don’t do at Lowry Electic. I hope there is a place like that where I’m going…
Topics: For Your Information | No Comments »
I thought cats were supposed to be aloof…
By Mr. Fabulous | May 7, 2008
Right? Cold, solitary, pretty much do whatever the hell they want?
I think that inside Mrs. Fab’s cat is a dog trying to get out.
He’s a morning cat, too. Lots of energy. Always following me around, getting tangled up in my feet, jumping on everything, trying to get inside the medicine cabinet, the refrigerator, the drawers…
What is up with that?
Oh, and this morning he was in the bathroom with me again. This time I was able to do my business while he stared at me.
I feel like I’ve crossed a line now, and I can never go back.
Le sigh…
Topics: Misc. | 5 Comments »
