I have no idea what to say today, guys.  It’s going to be boring.  Grab a snack or something.

The Manic Monday theme is “Pride”, and I am stumped.

Here’s a graph, showing what percentage of people from various countries are NOT proud of their nationality. According to this, only 2% of U.S. citizens aren’t proud of their country, which apparently makes us the most “proud” country out there.
*shrug*. I won’t comment too deeply on that, except to say I think this country could use a bit of harsh criticism now and then. And our government has done things it should not have been proud of.
Hopefully that statement won’t bring me too much hate mail.

I was very surprised to see that Japan had the highest rate of non-pride. (36%). Why on earth would Japanese citizens not be proud of their country?  Or is it just a cultural thing, where humility is important and it’s considered bad taste to admit being proud?  I can understand that.  I don’t really like the thought of being “proud” of one’s nationality, because it comes too close to exalting one country over another, which seems distasteful.

Anyway, just in case the link doesn’t work, here’s the whole list:
(Remember, this is the percentage of people who AREN’T proud of their nationality).

#1 Japan: 36%
#2 Germany: 34%
#3 Netherlands: 23%
#4 Switzerland: 20%
#5 Belgium: 18%
#6 Norway: 14%
#7 Sweden: 13%
#8 Denmark: 13%
#9 Finland: 13%
#10 France: 13%
#11 Italy: 12%
#12 United Kingdom: 11%
#13 Austria: 7%
#14 Canada: 6%
#15 Australia: 3%
#16 Ireland: 2%
#17 United States: 2%
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Currently my nail polish is done in quadrants of blue, pink, yellow, and green.
There are also black and white dots outlining the quadrant.
I like being just a little strange, and I do a different design on my nails every week.

I remember, from watching old reruns of “Are You Being Served?” that in Great Britain, nail polish is called “nail VARNISH.”

Here in the States, varnish is something you put on wood furniture.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s a site that translates all the differences in the two languages. (English #1 and English #2…) 

This is what I know so far:

Raincoat = Macintosh
Car Hood = Bonnet
Shopping Cart = Trolley
Truck = Lorry
Garbage Can = Dustbin
French Fries = Chips
Potato Chips = Crisps
Underwear = Knickers

What other ones are there? Do any of you know?
Please tell me.
If I ever run away and change my identity and move to London, I’m going to need to know how to speak properly.
Hopefully they’ll forgive my Michigan accent.
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I’m not a morning person.

I’ve never been a morning person, ever.  It amazes me that anyone could ever wake up rejuvenated and refreshed and happy and chipper, because I have never, EVER felt that way upon awakening.
In the morning, I feel so tired I can barely stand it, regardless of what time I went to bed and how many hours of sleep I’ve gotten.

I know “morning people” who think every morning is a fresh bright happy time, full of hope and promise.

I consider it ample evidence of my goodness and self-control, that I have (so far) quelled the urge to strangle them with a pair of dirty underwear.

In the meantime, consider me a night person.
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Now that I am one of the fortunate billions who actually has a DVD player, I actually need to start procuring some DVD’s.  Right now I own none.  My mom has some, so I’ve been borrowing a few from her.  I have to return them, of course.  If I ever get anything resembling a cash surplus, I’d like to start building my own little DVD library.

Things I would want:

The complete set of James Bond movies
Box set:  Family Guy
Box set:  Scrubs
Pretty Woman
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
The Wizard Of Oz
Anything with Robin Williams in it
Anything with Johnny Depp in it
The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

There are plenty of others.
Maybe someday, huh?
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They (whoever “They” are) say “Where there’s a WILL, there’s a way.”

So, here are a list of things I have the “will” to do.  Someone please let me know where the “way” is.

1.  Learn to levitate and fly just by concentrating really hard, even while carrying up to 50 pounds of luggage.

2.  Create a delicious form of chocolate that actually has negative calories and will make you lose one pound for every ounce of it you eat.

 3.  Throw the current political administration into a volcano somewhere.   Preferably an active one.

4.  Learn to control the weather so I can shoot lightning bolts at anyone who hinders my nefarious plan to rule the world.   Or, instead, maybe I could just throw them at people who tailgate me.  I’ll make sure to get out of the way first.
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Various thoughts involving the word “under”:

 1.  I hate summer.  I hate any season where the average temperature is NOT under 60 degrees.  I hate heat in every form except hot peppers.  Love those.  Hate summer.

2.  There’s a machine-washable seat cushion under me right now, which has never actually been washed in all the years I’ve used it.  Considering all the hundreds of times I’ve farted on it, I suppose a date with the washing machine might not be a bad idea.

3.  I almost was going to do a blog post while “under the influence” of some sort of alcohol, until I realized I was too poor to buy any. 

4.  As a child, I never owned any Underoos.

5.  One of my favorite cartoon characters (while growing up in the 70’s) was Underdog.
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Let me take you on a journey.

This is the journey of Janna, trying to find a way to listen to MPYR Radio online.

As some of you know, I got a brand new computer this week.

It is awesome.

I still have dial-up, which sorta sucks, but still, I’ve been able to listen to radio shows online.  In fact, right now, as I type this, I’m listening to the BBC news online.  So I figured, why not try MPYR.  The reason I wanted to is because I’d heard good things about the DJ Monty, who has a show on Friday nights from 10-12.

So, I went to their page on Friday evening, ready to begin the process of signing up and doing whatever I needed to do in order to listen to Monty’s show. 

(See screencap of MPYR’s home page above.)
I clicked where it says “Listen Here.”

And…. this window popped up, which wanted me to download a file called “listen.pls”.

I wasn’t sure quite what it was, and hesitated for a moment. 

It would truly suck if I was about to download a virus onto my brand new computer.  Tears would flow. Screams would echo.

Still, I was optimistic.  I went ahead and downloaded it.

See?  Here it is, successfully downloaded in my files…
It’s the one at the bottom right… the one that says “listen.pls”.

So far, so good, I guess.

Except, when I tried opening it, the computer had no idea what it was, and had no idea how to open the file.

So, I was stuck.

I went back to the main page and clicked where it says “On Air Talent.”

It brought up a page that lists all the DJ’s.

Monty was on the list.

Here’s her page, in case you want to check it out.

Notice how this page has another button that says “Listen Here.”

I clicked on that one, hoping it would do something different from what the previous one did.

The good news:  It DID do something different.
The lousy news:  It brought up this.

“Broadcast unavailable.  “mpyr” is not broadcasting on our system at the moment.  Please try again later.”

Okaaaay….

Well, I thought perhaps I might be able to find some help in the chat room.
I HAVE been there before.  I spent a Friday evening in Monty’s chat room a couple months ago, even though I wasn’t able to listen to the show she was concurrently broadcasting.
I tried logging in….
And it rejected my password.
I clicked on the “Forgot my password” link (even though I KNOW I used the right one).

Waited for the e-mail….

 Got it….
It contained a link I needed to click on, to verify my identity and re-set the password.

Notice how it says “Have a lot of fun!”

Though I admit, by this point, it was getting rather annoying.

Still undaunted, though, I clicked on the link provided…. and….
….And…..

I got THIS.

Tried it over and over, kept getting the same “Not Found” page.

So…. not good.

By now, it was after 10:00.

I went back to the main page, which still had its scrolling grey list that said “Friday Night Live at 10 pm ET.”  So there should have been a show airing.

I clicked where it says “Broadcast Calendar”, and saw THIS.

It says “There are no scheduled calendar events.”

All the days are completely blank.

Yet that front page still has shows listed, including Monty’s at 10.

So…  I have no clue.

I’m typing this at 11:00 pm, when ordinarily she would still be on the air, halfway through her show.  But if it really is there, I’m ready to fully admit that I have no clue how to listen to it.
Do any of you, ANY of you have any clues about this?
Did MPYR radio go defunct?  If so, why does their home page not reflect this in any way?  Why is there still a scrolling list of upcoming shows?
Enlighten me.
For now, I’m going back to listening to the BBC news.
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One of my favorite things to do when I’m depressed is to drive along the back roads at night.

It’s quiet and relaxing, and allows me peaceful time to think about things.

But now that gas is over four dollars a gallon, I can’t afford to do that anymore.

I’ve tried just sitting out in the car and making “vroom vroom” noises, but somehow it isn’t quite the same thing.
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I found a website that sells hot sauce.
That, in itself, isn’t unusual, but I love the name they chose for themselves.
It’s called “Taste The Pain.”
LOL!
Here it is:
http://www.tastethepain.com/
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This is going to be a real stream-of-consciousness post because I really can’t think of anything coherent right now.

Saturday I watched the second “National Treasure” movie, starring Nicholas Cage. I liked it. I haven’t seen the first one and am now interested in checking it out.

I like ocean stuff. Giant waves, waterspouts, whales, starfish, sharks, manta rays, coral reefs, black smokers, kelp, plankton, all that. I am a nerdy science-loving chick who would love to study oceanography.

I want to learn the theme to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine on the french horn. I have the music around here somewhere. It’s a gorgeous piece of music, and it sounds amazing on the horn.

Ninja throwing-stars are cool. I need to keep some in my wallet.
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When I was in college, during one of the rare times when I actually had a boyfriend, he did something interesting for my birthday once.
It was a surprise, he said, as he put a blindfold on me.
Then he led me outside, and I kept close to him as he led me across campus.
To make sure I was thoroughly lost, he took me in circles a few times. I had no idea where we were going.
When he took the blindfold off, I saw we were in front of the theater building.
He had gotten us two tickets to a play!
How sweet!

I forget what the play was; I don’t even remember if I liked it or not. I only remember that I thought it was a fun and creative way to surprise me.
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1.  Now I serenade WHO?

2.  An Eerie Showdown

3.  Whoa, endorse wine!

4.  Whee!  Erosion wand!

5.  Oh, woe, ewe innards!

6.  I was done nowhere

7.   New Rawhide Noose

8.  Own Rhino Seaweed

9.  Die, Now own hearse

10.  We saw heroin done

11. Oh, wow, insane deer!

12.   Onward, noise!  Whee!

13.  Now we hide reason

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Since I love hot spicy things, (the hotter the better), some people have opined that this should be my theme song. I drew this awhile back and couldn’t resist posting it for today.

Notice the stylish sunglasses and playful music notes. And my huge cavernous mouth. Can’t miss that.

The actual “ring of fire” is elsewhere, of course, but I decided it might be best if I didn’t actually draw that part.

You’re welcome.

Johnny Cash, eat your heart out.

With hot sauce.

——————-
Be sure to check out the doodles on my other blogs today too:
Jannaverse and Jantrails
(Jannaverse is the one where I put today’s CAT doodle!)
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While blogsurfing today, I found this post, which has a list of qualifications to enter some blogging project.
I couldn’t believe it, but one of the qualifications is that your posts have to have TYPOS in them.  This supposedly makes the posts “more real.”

Excuse me?

When I see a post with typos in it, I don’t think to myself “Wow, what a genuine post.  This must be for real!”

Likewise, when I see a well-written post, I don’t think “Ew, this looks fake.”

Instead, I respect authors who take the time to proofread their posts and catch typos and grammatical errors.  When I catch a typo in one of MY posts that somehow slipped through, I am mortified.

Granted, we’re all imperfect, and an accidental typo is bound to creep in occasionally.  But to purposely leave them in there, for the sake of appearing more “genuine”, this seems misguided and wrong to me.

I’m interested in your opinion on this.  Tell me, do you think typos make a post appear more “real” to you?
When you read a post with plenty of mistakes in it, does it create a more favorable impression?
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It’s four in the morning and I can’t sleep!

Ironic, because I’m really tired.
Somehow my brain has a stop sign at the crossroads of “being sleepy” and actually “falling asleep.”

Is there any way to run this stop sign?
It would definitely be worth getting a ticket.
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I have no problem with the concept of using preservatives to keep food fresh.

In fact, I find it strangely amazing that Twinkies can last forever, whereas a freshly-baked pound cake in your kitchen generally should NOT sit there for a year.

I look forward to the day when we can do this with other food as well. Imagine, you can pack a few tacos in your suitcase, along with some crab cakes and some egg rolls.  Maybe some fettucine alfredo too. Leave them there for a few days while you’re on vacation, then, on your last night in the hotel, unpack them and chow down while watching old reruns on TV Land.

And, through the glorious miracle of preservatives, you would NOT be cringing and whimpering with food poisoning a few hours later.

Embrace progress.
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Some of you may know my friend Steve.
He grew up here in Michigan, and we both went to the same high school. Then, after a bit of moving around, he somehow ended up in California for quite a few years. I remember one day in the early 1990’s I tried calling him, and got a recording that said “Due to the earthquake in the area which you are calling, this number is currently unavailable.”
(!!!)
He ended up being fine, thank goodness, but that really freaked me out. I can’t imagine living in a state where people actually get USED to that sort of thing. (”What? Oh, yes, we’re having an earthquake. No big deal. Only a 5.8.” Let’s send out for pizza!)
A year or so ago, he moved to New York.
I’m glad.
This means when California inevitably cracks off and falls into the ocean, he and I can both be watching from a safe distance just like everyone else.
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I just stole this meme from Travis. Hopefully he won’t mind.

You’re feeling: Fragile

To your left: Trash can, Wall, Container of Kitty Treats

On your mind: The possibility of breakfast

Last meal included: bowl of shredded wheat (last night before bed)

You sometimes find it hard to: be cheerful while scooping cat poop

The weather: way, way too warm

Something you have a collection of: cat poop (not by choice)

A smell that cheers you up: Anything EXCEPT cat poop

A smell that can ruin your mood: Cigarette smoke and cat poop.

How long since you last shaved: Shaved WHAT? Heh.

The current state of your hair: In a gnarly old ponytail

The largest item on your desk/workspace (not computer): stack of drawers

Your skill with chopsticks: I can use them to poke people until they finally give me a fork instead.

Which section to head for first in a bookstore: Humor.

Something you’re craving: Breakfast burritos with lots of hot salsa.

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: They all annoy me in some way or other.

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: None yet.

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: the cemetery, next to the oldest tombstones I can find

You’ve always secretly thought you’d be a good: artist

Something that freaks you out a little: worms

Something you’ve eaten too much of lately: cheetos

You have never: had anyone fall in love with me

You never want to: fry bacon in the nude. (again).
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Well, it seems that my mind has finally snapped.

Honestly, it was only a matter of time, especially considering the events of the past few weeks.

I woke up today and felt odd, like my brain was packed in cotton and the thoughts couldn’t quite get through. Slight headache, but nothing too bad.

Still, my mind seemed to be on strike. I drove into town, sort of zoning out until I found myself at an intersection and had no clue which way I wanted to turn. It was the same route I’ve taken hundreds of times, yet here it was as if I was totally lost. I tried to process the information and still came up blank for a moment before I decided I was supposed to turn left.
Yes.
Left.

So, when the light turned green, I made my turn and drove along for a couple hundred feet before it slowly dawned on me that actually I had turned the wrong way. I should’ve gone right, not left. Then I had to try and remember where I was going and why I was here in the first place.

I’m writing this with pencil and paper while I’m parked in the Meijer parking lot in Coldwater. If you’re reading this, that’s a good sign because it means I survived the trip home long enough to type this into the blog.
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Advice for today: If you’re going to put up a billboard, try NOT to sample the product beforehand.

If I ever get a decent digital camera AND a decent computer, I am going to nomadically roam the planet in search of funny photo opportunities like this.

I will still probably die in poverty and obscurity, unloved and alone, but at least I will have a decent camera and computer to keep me company during those final moments.

I’ll try to e-mail you.